It’s Tuesday and by now everyone has forgotten about the Grammys, which is good because they were a bit underwhelming and predictable in a good and bad way. On the plus side, Radiohead and the confirmed-at-the-last-moment USC marching band performed “15 Step” and it was predictably one of the best things all night. The “Rap Pack,” while still an impressive combination, were no match for the ever-eccentric M.I.A. yet overshadowed, literally flaunting her nine-month-pregnant body like a legit bad-ass. If Stevie Wonder actually saw who he was performing with (The Jonas Brothers, Stevie?!), I’m sure he would have second thoughts. Dave Grohl flailed away on drums behind Sir Paul on “Saw Her Standing There,” rendering Ringo even more dispensable than before. JT and T.I. teamed up, and it was pretty good. Lil Wayne was good too, but a bit underwhelming. I guess they couldn’t let him be too crazy. Damn syrup-addled sillyhead. Oh, Blink 182 is back together somehow! I don’t care how or why (money) but thank God we don’t have to endure another Angels & Airwaves album. Also, new Green Day album this year, too?! IT HAS A NAME?! 21st Century Breakdown? Please be good.
BONUS POST-GRAMMY COVERAGE: HERE’S THE AWESOME MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE-INSPIRED ALBUM COVER!!!
It’s like the fucking 1990s all over again. Blur has an album cooking, too. Who’s next? Semisonic? Fastball? Deep Blue Something? Who? Okay, that’s about all that mattered from the fifty-first Grammys. All of the YouTube videos of the live performances are gone forever, but here’s the one that matters that I could find elsewhere:
Radiohead w/ USC Marching Band – “15 Step” (Live at the 2009 Grammys)
ANOTHER AMAZING BONUS! Here is my graded scorecard of predictions from a few hours before the show. Let's see how I fared:
BEST NEW ARTIST
YES. 1/1. I didn’t even realize who Adele was until I watched the damn show, but it seemed like a solid pick at the time.
ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Prediction: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss, Raising Sand
Winner: Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, Raising Sand
Well, yay for 2/2, but fuck the Grammys for being uber-predictable and taking the safest album of the bunch. I might have even been okay with Coldplay winning, but not really. Not over Radiohead. Yes, I am a fan boy.
POP COLLABORATION WITH VOCALS
Prediction: Alicia Keys and John Mayer, “No One”
Winner: Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, "Rich Woman"
2/3. I picked this one completely randomly. I knew that Robert Plant and Alison Krauss would definitely win a shitload of awards just because it’s them and the Grammys are retarded. I dunno why I didn’t pick them.
COUNTRY PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
Prediction: Rascal Flatts
Winner: Sugarland, “Stay”
2/4. My extensive country knowledge has failed me.
BEST RAP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
Prediction: Jay-Z and T.I. Featuring Kanye West and Lil Wayne, "Swagga Like Us"
Winner: Jay-Z and T.I. Featuring Kanye West and Lil Wayne, "Swagga Like Us"
3/5. Over .500 again, nice. How could they not pick this song?
RECORD OF THE YEAR
Prediction: M.I.A., “Paper Planes”
Winner: Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, "Please Read This Letter”
4/6. Almost-mother Maya obviously should have won (especially for just being there that prego and still bad-ass) but I didn’t realize Rule #1 for the Grammys: Take the obvious route every fucking time. I voted with my heart that time.
SONG OF THE YEAR
Prediction: Coldplay, “Viva La Vida”
Winner: Coldplay, “Viva La Vida”
5/7. Pretty much expected.
BEST ROCK SONG
Prediction: Radiohead, “House of Cards”
Winner: Bruce Springsteen, "Girls in Their Summer Clothes"
5/8. Of course Radiohead doesn’t win, but “Girls in Their Summer Clothes”? Oh yeah, it’s the Grammys.
BEST POP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCALS
Prediction: Coldplay, “Viva La Vida”
Winner: Coldplay, “Viva La Vida”
6/9. Nice. 6 and a 9.
BEST ROCK ALBUM
Prediction: Coldplay, Viva la Vida
Winner: Coldplay, Viva la Vida
7/10. If Coldplay or Robert Plant & Alison Krauss were nominated for anything, they basically won it.
BEST RAP ALBUM
Prediction: Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
Winner: Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
8/11. YEAH BOI. Weezy’s speech was unpredictably sedated, though.
BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM
Prediction: Radiohead, In Rainbows
Winner: Radiohead, In Rainbows
9/12. If they won one award, I knew it’d be this one. Congrats, too bad it wasn’t like even during the show, though.
BEST DANCE RECORDING
Prediction: Hot Chip, “Ready For The Floor”
Winner: Daft Punk, “Harder Better Faster Stronger” (from Alive 2007)
9/13. I don’t know what I had against Daft Punk when I picked this and the next one. I like Hot Chip and it would have been cool to see them win, but I should have known better. I think it was just because it’s a 2007 live album or something that I had a problem with it.
BEST ELECTRONIC/DANCE ALBUM
Prediction: Moby, Last Night
Winner: Daft Punk, Alive 2007
9/14. A joke pick, but really hurting my average.
BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCALS
Prediction: Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"
Winner: Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"
PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, NON-CLASSICAL
Prediction: Nigel Godrich
Winner: Rick Rubin
10/16. Again, I knew he’d win because of Metallica and Weezer. So who do I pick?
BEST SONG WRITTEN FOR MOTION PICTURE, TELEVISION OR OTHER VISUAL MEDIA
Prediction: Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, "Down to Earth" (From Wall-E)
Winner: Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, "Down to Earth" (From Wall-E)
BEST RECORDING PACKAGE
Prediction: Metallica, Death Magnetic
Winner: Metallica, Death Magnetic
12/18. OMG NO NO AGE?! Metallica’s vagina-aping packaging isn’t that cool. I admittedly have no idea what No Age’s, ahem, package looks like.
BEST REMIXED RECORDING, NON-CLASSICAL
Prediction: MGMT - "Electric Feel" (Justice Remix)
Winner: MGMT - "Electric Feel" (Justice Remix)
13/19. Cool to see MGMT & Justice get some love.
BEST SHORT FORM MUSIC VIDEO
Prediction: Radiohead - "House Of Cards" (James Frost, video director)
Winner: Weezer - "Pork And Beans" (Mathew Cullen, video director)
13/20. Aw, c’mon!
Prediction Percentage: 13/20 = 65%. If I wasn’t biased or retarded, I might have jacked up my percentage a bit more, but whatever. I’ll get over it.
Here is a few categories that I didn’t realize existed or something as I put together my predictions hastily:
Best Metal Performance: Metallica, "My Apocalypse"
Best Hard Rock Performance: The Mars Volta, "Wax Simulacra"
Best Rap Solo Performance: Lil Wayne, "A Milli"
Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: In Rainbows
Best Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer, The Dark Knight
In all seriousness, I probably would have picked most of these, for what it’s worth (nothing.)
Here is the entire list of nominees and winners, if you really need to know who won Best Norteño Album (don't fret, Los Tigres del Norte locked up that shit.) That's really all that needs to be said. Let's just forget about the Grammys for the next 360-some-odd days, shall we? Can't wait to see Working On A Dream win every fucking award next year!